I can’t believe my little man is already 2. I know it’s so cliche to say-but man, time goes by so fast! It’s been tough having his baby pictures pop up on my memories on Facebook. It’s even hard for me to listen to songs I used to play for him as a baby-they bring back so many memories. I sometimes just sit here and watch him play trying to soak it all in cause that just like that, it’ll be gone.
Motherhood has been such a learning time for me. IN A BIG WAY. I’ve had to learn and UNLEARN so many things. It’s funny how i went into motherhood thinking I had it all figured out-then this little human reminds me-i really don’t have a clue. But that’s okay..cause I’ve got to learn as I go. ONE of the many things I’ve learned recently that I’ve been trying to implement, is to stop being so negative about motherhood. It’s so easy to be. I know, because i am. 
I say things in front of Luke while talking to others like, “He’s so whiny.” or “I need a break” or “you don’t want kids yet cause your life will be over” or “motherhood is hard.” sometimes I say them as half meant jokes, but the thing is, they really effect the way I mother my son..the way i view motherhood in general.
I read something recently that REALLY struck me:
“HOW YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR KIDS TELLS THE WORLD WHAT CHRISTIANS THINK ABOUT CHILDREN. IF WE’RE PRO-LIFE, THAT STARTS HERE, IN OUR HOMES. IN OUR WORDS. DON’T BE ANTI-ABORTION AND MOCKING THE LIVES IN YOUR CARE. YES, IT’S THAT SERIOUS.
HARD DOES NOT EQUAL BAD.
YOU’RE CAPABLE. AND CHRIST SUSTAINS YOU. RISE UP”
Wow. Hard does not mean bad. Motherhood is hard. But so are alot of other things in life. That doesn’t mean they’re BAD. Yet we often view it or describe it that way. I mean it’s so easy for me to play the pity card as a mother and think i’ve got it so bad without realizing HOW GOOD i really have it. I forget that I’ve been given such an awesome opportunity to raise a future Christian husband, father, leader, friend, soul-winner, etc. It doesn’t have to be such a negative thing. It’s all in how I choose view it.
I think of the verse, Pslams 127:3 “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Yet I don’t always view Luke that way. It’s become somewhat of a trend for mothers to just put it all out there and air out their kids failures and short comings with their friends or all over social media and how “hard motherhood” is and call it just being for real-because people need to know what it’s really like. But being FOR REAL about motherhood, doesn’t have to come from a place of negativity.
And alot of times the negative things I see in my child that irritate me, or when I view him as a distraction-are actually signs of things in my own life that are going on that are NEGATIVE and DISTRACTING me from my role as a mother. It may be the movies I’m watching, the people I’m following on social media, the friends I hang out with, the books I read, the food I eat, the bad habits I can’t seem to overcome. The lack of spending time in Gods Word, or the lack of prayer time..the lack of reaching people for Jesus. The thing is I KNOW what they are, but Satan convinces me it’s MY CHILD that’s the distraction.
I don’t want to go through motherhood like this. 
Personally, I notice when I’m conscious and aware of my role as Luke’s mother, I ENJOY IT!! I am more patient, kind, consistent and loving. And honestly, I don’t want him to look back one day and him feeling like he was a distraction in my life-or something that disrupted my life. I love being his MOM!!! I want to ENJOY being his mom. I don’t want young girls who follow me or those going into motherhood to hear negative things about motherhood from me. I want them to see that motherhood is beautiful, it’s fun, it’s an absolutely gift.
Realize also,,,there is some wife out there who is longing with all her heart to have a child…so the next time I want to complain about motherhood…I should stick to THANKING God that I’ve been given the chance to be one.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense. It’s 12 midnight over here and this was what was on my heart…so i put it into writing 🙂 Goodnight. 
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